You said, “God don’t make no junk.” The way I see it, you and I know better. Born of junk, raised in junk, married to junk to please you, and now stuck dealing with all this junk because you’re gone. Truth be told, I’m more like you than I care to admit. When they told me you were gone sadness came; not because you died but because I realized there was no longer a generation between me and my eventual demise.
I was told, “only be nice to the people you meet on the way up if you plan on coming back down again. Other than that, stand on the backs of the weak to boost your self up,” Truth is, I thought I was better than you. Now when I accomplish something great, there’s no one to share it with; they’ve all gone.
You said people will always disappoint if you give them enough of your time. Honestly, I thought you were a cynic. I don’t give people too much of my time. Truth be told, the greatest disappointment I ever felt, came from you.
“Can’t pick your family, they just are,” you used to say. I always thought you were talking about me. Truth of the matter is, I’m not sure I’d pick you either. The clearest memory I have is of you leaving. Its been ten years since we shared a meal.
Holding a grudge hurts forever, healing requires forgiveness. I think you read that from a fortune cookie. I thought you found God. Truth is I’ve prayed for you but I don’t think God was listening. I’ve often wondered if you asked for forgiveness before the devil discovered your whereabouts. I hope you’re in a better place.
“I didn’t ask for any of you kids, but you’re mine and I’m going to provide for any child I bring into this world.” Do you recall that conversation? I thought you must be drunk. Truth be told, you did provide. But those provisions didn’t nourish, they destroyed. My ability to trust and to love, died when you died. The only person I ever trusted was you; the only person I ever loved was you.
No worries; I will do as you did, live as you lived, and leave as you left; no remorse. Like you used to say, “A snake must give birth to something that crawls.”